“Life for me is about moving on, staying strong, being free – progressing, always improving, doing, seeking, finding… and sometimes keeping. I’m happiest when I’m on a journey – whether inward or outward. I detest still waters of the soul – my spirit bursts and gushes forth, like a river. I am raw and alive. Freedom is my keeper. I live life according to the whims of my heart, not the logic of my mind. I am the eternal wanderer. He who walks. The Fire. I cannot be held or tamed – only fueled.” – England, Spring 2015.
“I am the fire. Free, raw, wild,
unpredictable, sometimes misunderstood,
addictive, always moving, never still,
unhold-able, untame-able, but fuel-able and fearless,
flying, falling, always burning down
– but from the ashes reborn.” – India, August 2015.
“I tell you to love this beautiful world, and it will love you back. I tell you to embrace this beautiful world, and it will embrace you back. I tell you to not run from who you are, who you were born to be, but run into your existence open and full and ready to rejoice in the light of the world… a light which has never been put out since the very creation itself.” – Ghana, December 2015.
“I am a Wanderer, a Pilgrim, a Nature Boy; Born Free in fire and water; a Spirit of the Forests; a Wood King. I burn for travel… inside and out.” – the Gambia, July 2016.
It’s funny reading back something you wrote or said months or years before and finding new meaning of Truth and a greater depth than ever before. You look back at things you’ve done over the last six months or year of your time on earth and you are transfixed, frozen in awe of this Journey you have been taking towards a Higher Creation.
When did you unlock this secret?
When did Life or God decide you were ready… for this Journey of a Lifetime?
Sitting here now at my laptop, feeling fingers find their way swiftly across keys, as mind filters through words and emotions that have coloured my journey with such vividity and strength, vibration of Awakening, Revelation, New Love and Awareness for the world, and for humanity, and I simply can’t quite believed it all happened… Sitting in my private place where only close family and friends know where I am and feeling a whole cosmos of memory, feeling and sensation swirl around me. A moment of feeling centered at the very core of the so-called Universe, at the very foundation of Existence… and still I wonder why I have been chosen for such a journey, given such a place in the whole history of Time and Space.
Over this period I have been stripping away layers of man-made, constructed and implemented Fear. Realising step by step just what the Truth of Freedom really is, just what we really can achieve with our given time if we lose the shackles and let the spirit roar.
Maybe four years ago now I started a journey, and whilst there were highs and many special moments where mind stopped and spirit became One with the Greatness around me, never could I have expected the deluge of Creativity, Awakening and Fire that has come bursting through my being in this last year of my life.
Somewhere along the line I have unleashed a Fire. And it is not stopping, burning more furiously with each day. Each morning I wake I feel my spirit becoming stronger, literally vibrating through my hands at times, an energy I’ve never felt before, and each day my fears are lesser and lesser. Each day I can do more and more. Unstoppable, becoming evermore fear-less, breaking through layers built up by generation upon generation to hold humanity in a place of limitation… well, I’ve escaped.
Ever looked at the night sky and seen the milky way with your bare eyes, heard the sounds of the deep jungle with your own ears, or left your shoes far behind as you ran through the hot desert barefoot? If you have, then you know that there is more to this life than we are lead to believe from birth… that there is more to this human race and the forces of Our Nature than the forces of man will ever want you to realise. Some of us realise this. Some of us take this gift of life and run with it. Some of us were Born Free.
I’m running wild, reflecting only in mind, and word, but never looking back on the shell of my metamorphosis.
You can keep a lion or beast in a cage, but you cannot tame a Fire, not forever.
Fire will forever be wild. Give it fuel and watch it blaze…
Once you take that step, let you mind freeze and heart do the talking, once you realise your spirit, your very making, has the power of a whole universe, the ability to do and bring you anything you want in this life, you can step out of your door and truly see the marvel of this God-given chance at Life.
Get out of the inside ‘created’ world you’ve enclosed yourself in, locked up and disconnected from everything we truly are, close down you computer, switch off the iphone and the life-sucking brain-numbing television, go and see that the world is bursting to live, takes every chance to grow and evolve, to make love and shine, that this miracle of life pushes and moves on with or without your participation, go and take off your shoes and feel that raw earth, touch the bark of the ancient tree and see that it too is on a journey to age and wisdom, feel the wind and see the birds for what they really are. Then tell me that you are not a part of this Creation, tell me that you too are not an elemental being just as the stars and skies, experiencing life in a solid but changing and broadening form, that all the beauty of the world and your chance to experience it sensually are not absolutely 100% free, from the moment God breathed life into all that is, that this existence was and is ours, for free. If you can deny this then you are denying yourself. Life has been free since the dawn of all things and always will be. Do not let others take away your chance to live fully and open in the light of the world. Do not put boundaries and borders around yourself, your mind and your possibilities as a deeply-complex and perfect soul. Like the very core of the earth, you were created to burn with golden fire and endless energy. Step away from the cage you and society have been steadily building around your Free Will and see that the world is still great. Take what is owed to you. Take your chance, now, don’t look back, and run with it…
You might read these words, see these images and travels and think that all this is some talent, some luck or privilege, unattainable to normal people (whatever the hell is normal anyway? I lost all sense of ‘normal’ long ago…). But it isn’t, and I can tell you that once I probably lived a ‘normal’ life too, meaning I too lied to myself and allowed the walls of society to stop me growing into what my soul wanted me to become, what I was destined to become the moment I was conceived, and thought into existence. At some point I learnt how to climb, and once I reached what I thought was ‘the top’ of society, I looked over the ancient walls and realised a whole world lay beyond, a world I’d heard about in stories of great people, and legendary figures, but didn’t really know existed in my reality, and I certainly didn’t know it was attainable and available to me, a ‘normal’ person.
Since then I’ve simply given up! Given up on pretty much everything I’ve been taught by teachers, parents, older friends, mentors, leaders, and taken my life totally into my own hands. Nowadays I just walk, I do not care how or with what means I will arrive at a destination, or even where I’m going often, and, yet, Life has time and time again brought me into the most miraculous circumstances, where I’ve met the most inspiring people, been offered a hand of help, a shelter, food, just at the time I need it most and I didn’t have to even think about searching… I just walked. No amount of money or plans will ever bring you freedom, security or power, because all those things come from within you. You can spend your life running around planning things, fooling yourself into thinking you are in control, and Life will just click its fingers and totally knock everything out of the water because, whether you choose to accept it or not, Life has a plan for you, and one way or another you will face your destiny, no matter how much you run from it.
Not a single thing that occurs is chance. Everything is ordained, conceived from the beginning of creation. That includes me, you, everyone and everything around you. Once you open your eyes properly and stop looking down at the ground while you walk, you will start to see it, opening up to you, smiling down at you, saying, “I’ve been waiting for you to come back to me for a long, long time…”
On my most recent trip moving around West Africa I walked with lions through the Senegalese Bush, where I also encountered a family of wild giraffes who let me walk freely among them, I kissed an adult crocodile in the Gambia, played drums at a voodoo ritual, fed sacred monkeys by hand with the help and hospitality of the Tafi tribes of Ghana, travelled to remote villages where the only buildings were mud brick and grass, met village elders of 99 years, was received by fetish priests of ancient religions, met a modern-day prophet, swam entirely naked in the momentous roar of the Wli falls, crossed the Volta Lake in a flooding wooden fishing boat, travelled on camel-back through the Lompoul Desert, sung a solo and danced to wild applause in a Presbyterian church, spent a night under stars after trekking through tropical forest and received tribal tattoo from the African Herbsman I encountered there, shared meals, dances and laughs with brothers from all religions and saw the Milky Way with my bare eyes, shining and glistening above the earth like a holy spectre.
And I can tell you none of this was planned.
I just turn up, travel around and life rewards me with her beauty.
So simple. No fear – but everything to gain. Trust. Faith.
People often ask me how and why I am so self-accepting and fearless to embrace who I am. And the answer is that I simply keep trying, everyday, to grow closer to myself. I started this journey a long time ago, and I can say there have been many difficult moments along the way, some difficult trials to say the very least. Health has failed me, friends have let me down big time, places I’ve lived and loved have suddenly turned sour and I’ve done what a lot of people who travel do – ran away. Ran away from it all and thought it might go away… But it doesn’t, and over the years I’ve had to face that fact, go back to my ‘old life’ and sort it all out, process everything I left behind and clear up my past.
And it’s not over, I’m still very much on my own Journey to a higher me, I still have some baggage to wade through and many questions of Life I need to find answers to before my time is up. And anyone who thinks I’ll be giving up on my dreams of total freedom of truth and spiritual enlightenment any time soon can think again… this Fire is just getting started.
In these next months I will do my very best to catch up on some writing, finish and publish as many diary entries from my most recent travels as I can. I cannot promise to share everything of my life with the world, but I can promise that I will not stop sharing what I can, ideas and revelations from the Road… and be assured there will be plenty of dancing in fountains, strange flowy clothing and nakedness to come… of course.
Learning how to be myself has brought me true and utter freedom. I am unstoppable in my Will and Vision. I am living my life completely arbitrarily, according to the whims of my soul, not logic or mind. I do not play by other people’s rules. I am a servant of Life, goodness and hope, and will devote my life to Creation, Art and Compassion.
Join me.
It is time to come together. The planet is re-awakening. If you cannot feel it you are asleep. Old ways will fall away and perish. No more pride, stubbornness, fear or snobbery. It is time for Our change. Acceptance, equality, gratitude and Love. It is time to re-find the Light of the ancient world. This is just the beginning for me, perhaps for you too…
Go blindly into the dark. Take a leap of faith.
I would love to hear your stories of Fire and Awakening.
Please remember that you and your story are apart of the Great Story.
Remember that you are just as valuable to God and this Earth as anyone else in creation.
That you have this one gift of life, and this one chance to use it…
So what will you do?
… J x
“This life is given to every body by God and every thing God gives us no body can take.” – Jesus Christ.
(I got chatting to a man on the streets of Madrid and gave me a book, written by him, all about existence and creation. The above quote I found on the cover, and thought quite profound…)
all enquiries: diary.aesthete@yahoo.co.uk
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Love <3
Going through one of my dark nights and it’s comforting to know that, that too is experienced by other souls. The social media succeeds in making each one of us believe that everybody is leading a life full of fun and luxury, and we and we alone are kind of a pathetic exception.
I just had a beautiful experience during my moon meditation. As I was gazing at the moon obscured now and then by the clouds, I realized after some time that the moon was fully visible and the clouds were in fact moving around the moon and not trying to block my view. It suddenly occurred to me that all the heavenly beings try their best to show you their love and once we open up we can receive and channel this love and serenity to our fellow beings too. Which you seem to do…….
Thanks. Will write a more cheery comment once I conquer my inner monsters and beasts, created by my own ego.
I love what you saw in your meditation… amazing how we obscure the unfaltering love which endlessly shines down to inspire and nourish us, with ‘clouds’… you have a powerful vision to see it so clearly, and to see through the ‘illusion’. It’s a beautiful image to me.
After dinner last night a friend of a friend asked to read my palm. I don’t necessarily believe such things have much gravity but I was undoubtedly curious to see what energy she may find whilst holding my hand. She talked a lot about the other people in my life, the advise and precautions they give and how it can affect my choices and paths – she talked about how ultimately I must trust my own instincts above all else, as, deep down, I know what is best for me… and it’s true actually. She said my palm was different and the lines move in a way she hadn’t seen before… Trusting myself has been a huge part of my journey, not looking too hard within the existential but to my inner fabric, vibration, and the paths I am urged to take for reasons beyond my comprehension at times… often feels like, to me, I am guided and protected in my every move… in the past I too have put these ‘clouds’ around things, mostly myself and my instincts… especially as I have always been so ‘different’ from the ‘norm’… can be confusing at times, to feel so alone and yet have to be so independent… but then ultimately never really feeling ‘independent’ at all, just an illusion or sensation of loneliness… that comes and goes… bit of a conundrum I guess…
It’s nice to know that, even when we felt totally alone, really, we weren’t… we have never been alone. We simply felt alone because of those clouds we unconsciously employed to screen the light… and we all do it time after time, let me assure you. We are beautifully fragile beings, and that is okay too. We are allowed to wobble a bit, as long as we get back on our feet in time and remember how it feels to stand.
Sending peace your way, my friend. Hope you find some healing today.
Thanks a lot. Your words are like soothing balm. Well, being fragile can be highly frightening sometimes, fear and doubt paralyzing us. And with the sharks around, the human kind, we no longer know whom to trust and start losing faith in ourselves. But as your friend the palmist put it, trusting our heart is the only way to go, never mind the occasional fall.
A year back during one such dark night, I was saved from hurling myself down the roof by three shooting stars. Close friends were somehow engaged, as it happens when one has to cross the fire alone, but here I am, standing tall and proud, thanks to the love showered from the heavens.
I do not hesitate to share this experience because I want people to know that constantly being happy can be a big cross to bear. We came down to this beautiful earth to experience dense emotions as well, not always the lightness of joy. Everything is transient, everything is beautiful.
Thank you, my soothing balm. 😊. I am ok now.
You are such a brave, strong woman and I admire you for sharing your story so much… wow. So powerful. I do believe those that are sensitive to feel the real weight of life on this earth are far more prone to being dragged down or spiritually blocked by it. And yet, if we manage to heal and protect ourselves I do believe we are the sensitive healers the planet needs to understand her plight, and our own human plight. Like you say, everything is transient and if we can push through those dark times our awareness and sensitivity only increase more. It can be a very valuable tool if used correctly.
Thank you for sharing your story for people to read. I am sure it will be a help to many, in time.
God bless you.
Well my Angel, you never cease to amaze me. You are a bright light upon this Mother Earth. Cheers doll and I look forward to seeing and reading more. Xox
You honour me… really. Thank you. XoX
Reblogged this on ENLIGHTENMENT ANGELS.
Such a celebration of all the beauty of life!! Fantastic.
Thank you, Sheila!
As always your words are inspiring, years ago I turned off the TV I needed my space, thoughts and peace. I live now without TV in a very peaceful and calm environment something I prayed for over and over. I did not recognise it at first, but I have it, the peace the beauty, the River and skies both day and night so magnificent. Let go and let the soul. So many people try to crowd your head with what they want and ow they see. I see differently from most. I have learned to heal and be me. I follow my FIre you follow yours and put this world into a change of Fire.
Sounds like utter utter bliss. River and skies… I remember saying to my mother when I was about 11 that I didn’t want a TV in my bedroom anymore because it didn’t look nice! I just remember looking at this hideous black plastic thing that totally stuck-out in my little room full of bits of Life I collected wherever I could. I love your last comment about following the Fire, and the Change of Fire. So true. Each has his own Truth, unique to any other, and living in that is a whole new way of Life entirely… Thank you…
Your welcome, your articles are a pleasure to read.
Thank you.
If we turned of our tablets and iphones and such like, we could not communicate with each other, our loss or yours.
I didn’t imply in this post that we should switch off our iPhones and tablets forever, did I? If you re-read you might see I was suggesting we should turn-off the ‘such like’ and “go and see that the world is bursting to live, takes every chance to grow and evolve, to make love and shine, that this miracle of life pushes and moves on with or without your participation.” The point I was trying to make was that sometimes we all, including I, need to remind ourselves that we are a part of Creation. Remove ourselves from the comfort of the man-made enclosures we put ourselves in. Believe in our freedom. Get up and act. I’m not entirely sure what you thought your comment would add to a post clearly written to inspire people??
I love this: “I lost all sense of ‘normal’ long ago”. And I agree.. what is normal, anyway?
I also love how all that you described in your recent trip was unplanned. Being open to life like that can be so rewarding.
Inspiring, as usual. Keep on shining, James.
Absolutely. Normal has no place in my Truth… or anyone’s Truth! Yes, Mani, I’m getting closer and closer to the meaning of all this travelling I feel, and I’m finding it easier and more and more rewarding with time… we can only watch where it eventually leads. Thank you for coming by. It’s good to hear from you, too! ..JXX