Reconnecting, Reflecting ~ Under Tuscan Blue

How can you lose so much of yourself?
How can time, troubles, so-called friends, and life’s little dramas pull you down so easily?
How can everything you’ve done before suddenly be replaced, by this apparent chaos?
This thick, tar-like blackness through which you can see no easy way out?

Sometimes, we all lose our way. Fact. Even the greatest, strongest of us.
Sometimes, we all forget – who we are, what we actually want.
(not what the EGO tells us we want)
We can all forget our passion, our gifts, our purpose.

But is life about constantly staying on top, always winning?
Or is life in some ways simply about the fight?
The will to succeed? The belief – the faith – the climb?
Is a great part of life not about getting up when we fall?
The journey we take to get back on top?
The not focusing on the damage done, but the learning how to Reconnect.

Reflect, reflex, reconnect.

At the beginning of Summer I took myself over to Tuscany, Italy,
To reconnect with a great part of myself that’d gone a bit wayward,
The part that packs a single bag, and takes itself on the road for a few months…

Sometimes everything just seems to be going wrong.
Everywhere you turn you hit another wall.
But travel, my dear friend, is a constant reminder:
A reminder that walls are no obstacle…

When you have wings.

And some of us where born to fly.

Avalon, Engand
Avalon, Engand

Thank God for places like Tuscany, Avalon and Greece.
“Living*” in Europe has great advantages
– magical places like Italy are but a mere two hour flight away.

(*I use the term lightly as I don’t stay in one place long enough
to really call anywhere “home” these days.
My only permanent address is diaryofanaesthete.com)

James Dee Clayton
James Dee Clayton – Portrait by Rose Greenfield.

My plan for this year was to start out with a trip to Jerusalem,
Sleep under starry skies, seek out those ancient mysteries, and then head off East.
Well, the journey doesn’t always work out as planned, and after a turbulent Winter
I decided I needed a bit of Nature – a bit of time to reflect, and reconnect.

I also wanted to see my dear Rose, who, after moving to Italy herself,
I had lost connection with a bit.

Thank God for people like her. She lifted me straight out of my Winter Grey,
Straight into the heart of that sacred Tuscan Blue.

What a blessing to be back on the road.

We hiked and hiked around that extraordinary countryside,
Breathing, exhaling, just existing in that wonderful garden.
I could literally feel the life returning to me.

Tuscany, you take my breathe away.
You lift my soul.
Keep me strong.
Move me forward to the journey on.

We made a visit to the Monastero di San Francesco, in hilltop town Fiesole.

Funny, as we sat on the steps, overlooking Florence below,
My mind was taken back to a night over a year before
Where me and my Florentine housemates made our way up,
To the very same spot, to watch the glittering lights of the city from afar,
As I sung us one of my songs, quietly,
My Voice echoing faintly into the surrounding dark…

J x.


All photos on this posts are copyright James Dee Clayton and Rose Greenfield respectively.
For all inquiries email diary.aesthete@yahoo.co.uk

16 Comments

  1. This morning I awoke with a painful feeling of loneliness and abandonment. Not for people. no. But for myself. For my soul. And suddenly I read this post and I remember the reasons for my pain. You are perfectly right. I need to travel, and I feel that your words connected with me in some way. I know there is nothing holding me here but still, I am afraid. And that fear keeps me chained in place. Because it’s easier, that’s why. How do you do it? How do you overcome that fear? Because unfortunately we live in a world governed by material needs and fear for survival is pretty common among anyone. How do you manage to be… lighter, and just get out of wherever you are?

    Like

    1. Thank you for taking the time to comment. Well firstly, I would say conquering fear is a process. And it’s not easy. But travel has become a sort of addiction for me – a need. This feeling of ‘lightness’ is one I have gotten used to, and I find it hard now to settle anywhere as a result. Travelling alone has taught me to push myself out of my comfort zone, to do things that scare me, every day – and trust me, the feeling you get when you conquer a fear is just incredible. The feeling of breaking that mold you’ve created around yourself, that keeps you held in a place; the realisation that you can be as free as you want to be, is nothing short of enlightenment. Take a leap. Just do it! If you want it enough you will not fall. You need to prove to yourself you can take risks and come up smiling. That fear will only grow – it’s never going to get easier. So just do it. Today. Tackle your fear head on. Open your heart and just let go – give it all up to the Greater Good – have faith – in yourself, in your dreams, in your world.

      Because trust me, once you grow your wings – you will not be able to stop flying. J x.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for your answer. I wish I knew more people like yourself (well it’s not like I know you). Inspiring people to allow yourself to inspire others. I will try to follow your advice. Actually, I must try. There is no other way if I want to achieve my dreams.

        Like

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