Take that fever!
Been feeling ill a lot recently – seem to be getting one illness after another. This winter has been unkind… If you don’t know what neutropenia is you should look it up. It’s hell.
But spring is finally here!
Apart from planning my next trip through Africa (Ghana again, Burkina Faso, Mali, Senegal, The Gambia) and fund-raising for my orphanage in Ghana, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking… I’ve realised I’m tired. Feel like I’m fighting all the time… Think I need a break from my own life… What a thing to say! Sounds crazy, right?
I’m gonna be honest – I’m pretty exhausted. Travel, and the preliminaries, are much more exhausting than people realise. It really is a lifestyle of ups and downs, extremes, constant unknowns and prayer. A lot of early mornings, lack of sleep, and yes, illness. I don’t regret it… but sometimes life living out of a suitcase just catches up with you and you just fancy hanging a picture, painting a wall, developing a bit of a routine perhaps – rather than just constant chaos, rushing, running, planning, always moving on to the next goal, vision… I think all artists have these moments. Yes, I consider myself an artists, a visionary.
Now don’t get me wrong – I do take time out – I have to.
I just came back from a trip to the New Forest with my English family, we went to Stonehenge and Avebury for the equinox, and before that I was travelling through Spain. But I got ill! Surprise surprise – Fever in Sevilla! – and whilst I still had a beautiful time, really… I could have done with just relaxing for a week… putting my feet up. Nursing myself and convalescing. Which I NEVER do.
I’ve decided that, after my trip across West Africa (which I am VERY pumped for) I’m gonna totally let go. No more plans! Full stop. I’m gonna pack a bag and go and stay in Florence for a while again, perhaps settle for a month initially and see what happens. I’ll find work. I always do. And my Italian seems to be getting better, even though I don’t live in Italy anymore. Perhaps from there I’ll go back to Spain… I did love Seville. Could live there for a while… and Morocco is so close. Oh and Egypt! So close! I could do a trip – travel all over the country and then cross over into Israel and… oh, gosh, I’m doing it again. Supposed to be not planning, resting…
No. No. I’m just gonna stay here in the UK for now, spend time with my family, use that annual subscription to English Heritage I just bought as much as I can now that the weather is getting nicer, focus on some fundraising for those beautiful children in Ghana that I know are waiting for my return. That’s all I’m gonna do… well, okay, I just booked a ticket to go and stay with friends in London – there’s a few bits I wanna see there whilst I’m in the country again and it’s the Bomb’s birthday. 25! Gosh we’re getting old. Time is flying. Oh and then of course the Bomb is in a new play in Paris come June, I’ll have to use that excuse to go back to Paris. It’s been years, about time I went back. Really want to see the Saint Chapelle anyway… missed that last time. And I’m flying to Ghana from Madrid as the tickets were cheaper from there so I may as well spend a bit of time in Spain again before I travel, the weather will be nice and… oh, dear… see how my mind works?
I’m a pain in the arse. Too much bloody going on in this head! Too many ideas. I can’t keep up, can I?
It goes something like this – I am a boy whose mind has far more energy than his body, far more drive and faith… if I could just wake up one morning without another sinus headache… I need to get out of this country! I always do this when I come back to the UK – think I need to leave ASAP only a week into my stay as if somehow the UK will purge me of all I’ve achieved so far on my travels…
Well, I woke up feeling pants (really crap) this morning, walked round my old hometown for a bit, the sun was out, took a lot of painkillers which I just adore, had a coffee, then walked up to my mumma’s house, took my old uke and sat in the spare room and sung my head off! Bet the neighbours dread my visits.
It’s one of my old favourite songs to sing. Gives me hope and makes me smile.
I’m feeling better after that!
So got a message from one of my old pals in Bangalore, India, this morning. Loved living in that city… gosh, I miss India. Never did make it up to the north… why don’t I have a quick look on Skyscanner. Might just book myself a flight on that new credit card I just got… NO! No, no, NO!
My bank are such idiots… Jx
“Transformation is a process, and as life happens there are tons of ups and downs. It’s a journey of discovery – there are moments on mountaintops and moments in deep valleys of despair.” – Rick Warren