“I longed for this moment. This moment was everything. I was alone for so long down there eventually some people came looking for me… yes I was alone in the jungle. I had no fear of snakes or leopards. I set my camera up to take a cool, poised and mindful-looking self-portrait in the waters and when the time came all I could do was laugh! So I did it again. And I laughed again! Pure bliss and joy. It was a deep and powerful prayer without words and a wonderful blessing.”
et omnia et nihil
of Everything and Nothing
I confess to you my friends… sometimes I sit down to write and I think “Nope. Absolutely nothing there…” but then I start tapping away anyway, like I am now. And words start to come… not always really sure where I am headed at first, or what I really want to express. Then I remember to stop thinking! Oh yes ! There it is… that place… that song beyond the clouds, that sacred space beyond and between all things, where words, true, deep and powerful words, can be borrowed from…
So my heart is heavy today. It is heavy with love. How can I express this love? This gift? This echoing of Creation that tingles through my every cell? I can just be simple and true, that’s all really… All I can really give is love. It’s all I really have to give. I have nothing else! Everything I have done, is for love… I am devoted to love, which is why I am devoted to Him.
You know Who I mean.
There is only One inspiration in my life.
I tell you these things for the sake of many things, but mostly for love, which I express through poetry, images, stories, the sharing of my inner world through an outer journey… it is the only thing I can do really. It would seem I have a ‘gift’ for it…
“When the devil leaves, heaven comes in.” – Indian proverb
Back then, when this all started, I was given a ‘torch’, a flame to guide my voyage… I was invincible, I couldn’t put a foot wrong let me tell you! But it burnt out… so quickly! After two, three years, suddenly, I was in darkness, feeling around in the dirt. Outwardly nothing changed but inwardly I was lost. I had made many mistakes. You see, I had begun to chase the illusion! A gift is only a gift if it is used in the right way, otherwise it becomes a curse. And a terrible one. Can you imagine what a great lesson to be chasing a dream and to watch it disappear like smoke as you finally grab it?! Well… it was another lesson I had to learn, one of so so many. One I am glad for. So so glad. I always said I was the student. It’s the best way to be. Teachers have to keep editing and checking themselves, a student only has to ‘pass’.
You see, after some time, I started to think the magic was me.
I started to think that the real ‘journey’ was the one I was taking around the world…
So… He blew out the flame 🙂
At first I was disorientated but, I quickly knew what was happening.
I took it… I paused. I reflected. I went deep, deep-deep. Deeper than I think it is normal to go. I had to go to the very depths to learn how to properly climb back up. I found a few things… some nasty things. I stared them in the face, brought them up to the surface, into the Light I was ardently seeking, and they fled before it. I am thankful. My God I am thankful !
Then… last year, the torch was relit.
The Mission was brought back to all my senses.
I can only say it in that way – the torch was relit.
For that is the truth of it.
Now it seems, perhaps, I will go back into the world, in some way… I think it may be for the last time. There are still people I must meet, certain places I must record, certain stories I must share. That’s how it feels anyway. Something will change after that… I’m not sure exactly. I know it but I can’t express or understand it in words yet. And that’s the best way for it to be! Live like these days, these years, are your last! Then you will understand that EVERYTHING IS ILLUSION in your life, except from Love. Our Father is Love. Anything that is not Love is not Him, and is ultimately utterly worthless to you.
“All suffering is temporary”
…I keep getting this at the moment.
Things will change my dear friends. All things. This world is ruled by a darkness. “…the ruler of this world is coming…” – Jesus Christ. We know that of course, in our Beings, we know it is true and we cannot deny it now. As we realise this more and more we also realise that ‘the world’ is darkness and has forgotten how to love, and the true purpose of much of man’s world is to keep us from realising this simple and plain truth. Love. We have all forgotten it… I have certainly disregarded it many times (and paid the price). We can feel love, sure, but one day, when we shed the earth, we will actually see love! Can you imagine, the very pattern, the ‘breath’ of Creation, spiralling through all living things. From the stars to the tiniest cells. This is something scientist will never be able to explain or see. This is life from the mind of the Ultimate Mind and the Ultimate Reality. Soon… everything we ‘know’ will pass away and all that will be left is this Love, this Great and True Love and the One who came into the world bearing it upon open arms.
Then… nothing will be between us and the realisation ~ Love is all we are. Everything else is just ‘dirt’… and will blow away in the winds of the final song, the ultimate hymn of the perfected and renewed Genesis.
All of this is just a scene, a series of scenes we must pass through on our way to the greater and final scene. Images and finer details are all we understand for now, which is why the greatest messages are always woven into the simplest stories…
“In love, beggar and king are equal.” – Indian proverb
So what on earth does all this have to do with my time in India?! Well… I can say only this… I record these things in this way so that people may look back and remember the things I said and did. Not that I am special! I am just a wretch when you really see the truth of things. I have been blessed with a life that I could never be worthy of. And that is why I share it. So that people can see. So that anyone who seeks answers here, even just one person, will see that everything I have done or shared has one ultimate theme. Once you live in love, once you embrace and go into the world open-armed, ready to give yourself to all people you encounter without judgement or fear, then loves comes to you, love finds you in all places. Love, always, finds the beloved.
So, in its way, all of what I have said has everything to do with India, and nothing at all… et omnia et nihil.
Peace be with you, the reader.
Or perhaps I should say namaste…
‘the sacred in me bows to the sacred in you’.
Read part 1, of Flowers and Lights, here.
Read part 3, of Oath and Reflection, here.
As always, I hope my art inspires and entertains you, my dear reader. My intention is always to share what I have seen, simply and from my heart, to show parts of the world and cultures perhaps unknown or unreached, and to share and enlighten with the wisdom that has been laid before me, on this long and fascinating journey. Of course, this global disaster we have all faced recently has been devastating to many people across the world, and I myself have lost someone very close to me, have been unable to work and travel, which has left me in a bit of a tight squeeze. It has been a tough and yet somehow enlightening time, let me tell you! As I am sure it has been for many of us.
Somebody recently told me, “once you expose yourself to the Light all the inner shadows are revealed…” how very true?!
I am of course keen to get back on the road as soon as I can, to once again document and share our wonderful world with you all, and others. I always said I would keep this website free for all until I reached a readership exceeding 10,000… we are nearly there my friends! Which is wonderful and exciting. Although, right now, I am pretty sure I will continue to keep most content on this site free and accessible to all (I may begin doing ‘premium posts’ in the future, but we will see…) If any of you have means to help me keep this dream going, please donate to Diary of an Aesthete by clicking here. Perhaps you are unable to help yourself, but maybe you know somebody who can… then please pass on the link. Any donations made will go directly towards exciting and inspiring future travels, to updating my camera gear so I can start to make proper little films for you all, and also towards administration fees for this website, which, being so media-dominated, is expensive to run ! A big thank you to those who have already donated !! I am so grateful. Truly truly.
But don’t worry my friends! God has us in the palm of His hands. Our only worry should be to not roll off… there is always a will, there is always a way. The Journey lives on.
I love you so much!
Thank you always my dear readers and friends.
Your comments, shares and emails are so so appreciated.
Do a good deed today, do it for love. Hug somebody, smile, forgive somebody… let somebody else take the credit.
This is the heavenly way <3